Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
