Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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