dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
