i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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