so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
