my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
