genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
