Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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