It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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