There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
