using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
