i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
