im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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