yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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