Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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