I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He felt like a one man threesome
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
