No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Quick, to the slutcave!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
