the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
