So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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