i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
