After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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