Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Randomize
