I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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