So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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