they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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