I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who died my cat blue again?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
