If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
