maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
