Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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