then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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