this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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