I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You ruined the universe
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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