I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize