i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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