All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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