I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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