I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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