Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sorry about my life...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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