apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
