Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
