i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
