just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
