There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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