please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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