So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
