i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
