I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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