Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
