Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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