"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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