the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
