I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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