the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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