Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize