I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
