I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
