I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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