addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
