please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
