he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
