This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
