i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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